Lovebug

A recovery romance.

Crack smokers eventually give up on finding their soulmate.

Getting high will do just fine.

But when we get clean, we invariably get lonely. All of the people we used to call ‘friends’ are still smoking crack. So some of us embark on that misguided quest in earnest. Tinder, Grindr, Bumble, whatever. And in a testament to their winning personality, many ex-crack smokers overcome the limitations of being broke-ass and living with parents — and actually find some sort of mate.

Then we spend years wondering whether they’re the one.

Maybe this will help: Think about everyone who ever came before you — all the way to the primordial goo from whence all life sprang. It brought you to this moment.

Now consider the person you ended up sharing your life with. That dude over there on the couch. And ask yourself, is this the person that trillions of decisions over thousands of years have ultimately led you to? Is this your soulmate?

If you can say yes, then congratulations. You’ve already found what the universe had in mind. If you’re not so sure, on the other hand — if you have a nagging suspicion that this wasn’t exactly the culmination of some divine plan, then I urge you to keep looking.

But this time, try looking for your soulmate somewhere else. It’s funny how long it takes to realize that the person you’ve been waiting for has been sitting beside you all along — and how hard it is to like him.

It took much of my life to realize that the dude on the couch was actually me. And he sucked. Am I my soulmate? Did all those decisions and situations culminate in me finding myself?

I think that’s the grand design — crack habit and all — that led me here.

To find my soulmate at last. To find myself.

Getting whole will do just fine.