The house of the rising son

(And the batshit crazy mother.)

My mother’s been listening to a lot of Edgar Cayce lately.

He was a mid-19th Century psychic and clairvoyant who lives on today in the countless YouTube videos she enjoys while exercising.

“Did you know that ‘I am’ is your perfect self?” my mom asked me the other night, when I came downstairs for a pickle.

“What?”

“When we say, ‘I am’ the universe listens,” she continued.

“Interesting,” I offered, as it seemed the least I could do.

“So, if you say, ‘I am tired’ the universe listens — and makes you tired. And, if you say, ‘I am sick,’ the universe will make you sick.”

“Huh,” I replied, twiddling my pickle.

Then she finally delivered the payload — the ultimate purpose of this strange sermon.

“That’s why I say, ‘I is tired’ or ‘I is sick.”

Sometimes, my mom’s jokes blend so seamlessly with her own madcap perspective of reality, it can be hard for outsiders to decide whether she’s funny or funny in the head.

But I know the truth: She has a devastating sense of humor.

In fact, she’s my best barometer of whether I’m getting funny again. Honestly, I used to be! Then my jokes — possibly influenced by my drug habit — got really bad.

I think I’m on the upswing though.

These days, there are countless evenings of uproarious laughter — I’m talking the whole house ringing out with screeches and snorts and cackles and choking sounds not related to a medical emergency.

A year ago, when I was a crack-smoking wretch, we’d be at each other’s throats living under the same roof. Today, we’re at each other’s funny bones.

“Only you can make me feel like I'm getting tickled on the inside,” she said the other day, when I was just sitting across from her in total silence.

Seriously.

I didn't say a word and she was in hysterics.

Although, if I'm being honest, I did have a really weird look on my face.

Still, how good does it feel, after everything she's been through, to hear her laugh like an unhinged pelican?

We both is dying.

Listen for yourself. Here's what it sounded like when my mom recently read one of my blogs: