In the persons perspective they may think I am judging and I might have a preconceived answer. Not having an open mind is no way to find out the truth. Food for thought!
I think you're right. It does show you care. Especially if you know the person asking. But sometimes, early in recovery, it's hard to see it like that -- but more as a statement. Like, 'You're not okay.'
Thanks for pointing that out. I always thought “are you okay?” could also mean “I love you.” In the same way, “call me when you get home” really means “I care about you.” But I completely agree with your point that “are you okay?” can land as passive aggressive. I like the switch in perspective and how it's really the person asking who might need some support. Honestly, I’d be more worried if someone had a perma smile on 24/7 considering the sad state of the world. 😁 And for the record, I don’t think anyone is truly “okay” all the time, and that's okay. That's what makes us human. 🩷
Good reading. Thanks. 'Are-you-okays' definitely come from a place of caring. But when they pile up fast -- especially early on -- they can feel more like 'You're-not-okays.'
I agree -- it makes a big difference when you try to imagine the question from the questioner's perspective.
In the persons perspective they may think I am judging and I might have a preconceived answer. Not having an open mind is no way to find out the truth. Food for thought!
I have never thought about how a simple question could have a different effect on different people. I ask the question in hopes it shows I care.
I think you're right. It does show you care. Especially if you know the person asking. But sometimes, early in recovery, it's hard to see it like that -- but more as a statement. Like, 'You're not okay.'
Thanks for pointing that out. I always thought “are you okay?” could also mean “I love you.” In the same way, “call me when you get home” really means “I care about you.” But I completely agree with your point that “are you okay?” can land as passive aggressive. I like the switch in perspective and how it's really the person asking who might need some support. Honestly, I’d be more worried if someone had a perma smile on 24/7 considering the sad state of the world. 😁 And for the record, I don’t think anyone is truly “okay” all the time, and that's okay. That's what makes us human. 🩷
Good reading. Thanks. 'Are-you-okays' definitely come from a place of caring. But when they pile up fast -- especially early on -- they can feel more like 'You're-not-okays.'
I agree -- it makes a big difference when you try to imagine the question from the questioner's perspective.