Closing time

Let's grow somewhere else...

“You should start a Substack,” my ex suggested last October.

We were talking on the phone. She uses me instead of a podcast while walking Luna, the dog we used to share.

Her only concern?

Consistency.

“You tend to put so much energy into things in the beginning. Then you let it slide…”

I used to be brilliant at beginnings. Only to fall asleep before the finish line.

That’s why I was surprised to learn that I’ve written nearly 150 blogs since that conversation.

It’s never too late to change.

I guess I have a lot of things to say.

But what surprised me most about all that writing was how dramatically it changed over time.

Early blogs were visceral, emotional and anchored entirely in my experience.

What was happening to me?

Over time, my perspective widened beyond the kitchen mirror. I started noticing the world around me — recovery meetings, the swimming pool, friendships, the coffee shop, university.

The question shifted from What is happening to me? to Where am I going?

Confessions of a Crack Smoker doesn’t feel like the right title anymore. It belongs to those early days — disoriented, manic, uncertain, and a little monstrous.

All this to say: it’s closing time for these Confessions.

I started a new Substack called A Guide to Being Human for Ghosts. That’s also the name of the book I’m writing.

(Original title: you guessed it, Confessions of a Crack Smoker.)

Some of the stories will be familiar. I’m going to revisit stories that I already posted here and try to write them in a more serial format.

But I’m also going to try to write new chapters there — and maybe even nail the ending.

This was a good place for me in early recovery.

I hope it was good for you, too.

Is it weird that I feel like I feel you here when I’m writing? Like you’re right here on this page with me?

I guess that’s why this page has been so important for me.

It made this ghost feel a whole lot less alone.

So thanks for keeping me company all this time.

Maybe I could interest you in joining me at the new Substack?

You can subscribe right here.

Maybe we can write the next chapter together.