Mississauga: 28 km

Just a few stops along the way.

It’s been a long time since I’ve been on a bus. This one is heading to Mississauga. I’m on my way to see Luna.

She’s one of my very favourite people — a spotted dog with grin that sticks to her teeth. Luna was by my side for the first ten years of her life. When she was a puppy, I promised I’d protect her forever.

As my habit worsened, I broke that promise. Until, undeserving of her infinite heart, I made the only good decision I ever made as an addict: I let her go.

Now I’m on my way to visit her. I’ve been clean for ten months.

But this bus ride is giving me all kinds of feelings. Soon we’ll be passing through the scene of most of my crimes as an addict: Hamilton.

And as much as I hate to admit it, there’s a part of me that wants to get off there. Maybe I could surprise a few people I used to know. Maybe even pay a few debts. I have some money now.

Hamilton: 46 km

I’d have a grand time in that town. Really come back with a vengeance. When I left, I was broke, emaciated, and homeless. Imagine the comeback I’d make.

Hamilton: 31 km

If it’s so exciting, though, why am I sweating?

I know I could pull it off. I’ve earned enough trust and goodwill from my family. There would be explaining to do, of course. And all those clean days I racked up would reset to zero. Recovery isn’t just a number, anyway.

I worked so hard to get here. Maybe I deserve it.
So why do I want to cry?

Hamilton: 11 km

I’d have to stay in town for a few days at least. If I’m going to fuck up, it’ll have to be worth it.

Hamilton: 3 km

My phone buzzes. A text message. Luna will be waiting for me at the station in Mississauga. There’s a picture too.

I know that tail is going to wag the moment someone says, Daddy’s coming.

And suddenly I can’t stop smiling. I turn toward the window because my eyes are making a bit of a scene. But that’s okay — because soon, Luna is going to steal it.

Mississauga: 28 km